It gets very frustrating, being ill, regardless what you suffer from. Even just having a cold is enough to annoy anyone, and quite understandably, I think. Regardless to what degree, it restrains you, and we humans love out freedom.
I keep reminding myself - or try to, at least - how lucky I actually am. I have a home, a crazy but caring family, clothes to wear, food to eat, and, although I'm not rolling in money, I at least have enough to survive. Things, although they do feel crappy, could be so much worse. People starving in Africa blah blah blah ...
Woke up this morning, feeling rather optomistic, it must be said - my legs aren't quite as shakey as they've been for the past week, I have a semi-date thing with a dear friend of mine tonight, and I was mentioned in a letter from the concert the other week as being a "Credit to the Corps", because I had such a lovely manner and smile whilst I was in the chair. Go me!
I'm still completely shattered, but thats a normal occurence now, isn't it, really? I've been asked to go shopping with a bunch of friends from my old school, which would be nice, but I'm worried about keeping up with them. Even with my stick, I walk quite slowly. I don't think they would do it deliberatly, but I would get left behind. Feels a bit as though I'd be holding them back by going. Also, I get even more tired out than normal, in a large group of people.
See, its a delicate balance. Its a very isolating situation and condition, not only because of peoples reactions, but because of ones own feelings. I've been invited out, but know, realistically, its not a good idea. I'll be tired tomorrow, and then the next day, and then Friday. I should use my rest days for resting! But, especially when you're feeling good, like I am today, the temptation is to just go out and do everything. Its a dominio effect, and the more you do, the more dominios you topple over.
Bloody dominios, knew there was a reason I couldn't play ...
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