Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Always feel better after I've had a scream :)

Anyway ... Had a bad couple of days, my legs have been rather shakey and I'm incredably tired. And at my meeting with the headmistress today my confusion maanged to prove itself soooo much.

What she was saying wasn't complicated.

But I couldn't follow it.

She could have just been speaking jibberish for as much as I could take in. The bits I did understand, I felt were patronising, and laced oh-so-nicely with arrogance.

Its all so very difficult, and people asking how I'm feeling, or, even better, telling me they know how I'm feeling, really doesn't help in any way, shape or form.

My head is very ... fluffy ... today, and its difficult to hold down a conversation, because I'm loosing track of what I'm saying, and forgetting my words. Its embarssing and frustrating. I've always been a walking, talking dictionary before all this, and to now not be able to string together a sentence is very trying.

Earlier, talking to two of the other girls at the hospital, we all felt the same - like we wanted to have someone elses life for a little bit, just to be able to be normal, and to remember what that is like, without all these horrible set backs.

Not that I would wish my situation on anyone. I never imagined it took effort to think, breathe, talk, chew ... Let alone walk! All basic things that most people never have to consider, and I hope never will.

It makes having to come to a decision difficult, not only because there are lots of factors to take into consideration, but because the thinking itself is hard ...

So ... A nice little rambling post, because I think its important for my difficulties to show in this as well as my "coolness".

Love and spoons.

x